Goddess and Cock (c) blazintommyd 2007
I've been doing Tantric masturbation for quite a while and was cumming once a month. So this woman was my Goddess. We really clicked totally; and we got along soo good. So almost everything I see that excites me turns into her. I see her. Do you know what I mean?
So I see images of a girl and start stroking my cock to the images.
I'm nude almost all of the time and have lube close by. Before long the face turns into her and I don't want to cum to that because the feelings of Love will return and then I'll miss her &c
So I have to get out of that somehow but haven't cum since last month around the 2oth (December)
We used to chat online for hours and hours. I could just whisper her name to the west and my cock went rock solid hard, drooling a good amount of sweet pre cum; or when I went outside on my way to practice. I'd close my eyes and it would feel like she was right there with me. I'd lift my head to the sky whisper her name kiss the air and my soul would sore to heaven and again rock solid hard
So just that alone is fabulous because of the feelings of Love that goes with it, the butterflies and all that plus a good strong drooling cock
So that allowed me to do edging and often I would use porn. My thing is legs and feet and we're both dancers, so again if the images turned into her it was fabulous but I would not have a shooting orgasm until the 20th of each month and that would be solely devoted to her.
The result of edging for a guy is like an internal orgasm - this is what you learn with Tantra. If you use it with sex it allows the guy to last a long time.
Essentially, when you have an internal orgasm you don't shoot and yet you feel satsfied and your cock will go down if you let it; or you can continue and shoot; but if you manipulate your cock away from the head at the lower part of the shaft then you can pump internally like an orgasm but don't shoot - it's take a while to learn but it's not difficult.
Now sometimes towards the end of the period when you're going to shoot you'll get maybe a dollop of jizz around the size of a quarter cum up around the hole, but it's not a shooting orgasm, you can do that several times in fact and still shoot after - if you keep stroking around the head and the frenum - or if move lower toward the balls and have internal orgasms, pumping without shooting
It's a fucking gas I miss doing that so much - but it only works if you have a Goddess or Goddess image or if you're straight-Gay a God image
But then when you finally shoot once a month and remember all you've sacrificed for her to have that one orgasm - it is out of this world - complete and total Love, the best orgasms I ever had.
But our problems resulted from the fact that I'm bisexual. I do like cock, I like to look at it and if I like the guy suck it the best i can to make him have the best experience ever. Sometimes when I get done with practice I'd like to have a big Tom of Finland like guy knead my ass like bread, and move his cock into my asshole while I lay on my stomach and do nothing but enjoy
She couldn't handle that and most peple don't understand either. I even offered to make a committment to her alone but the thing is when I do Tantric masturbation and cum, the jizz is sacred and I consume it like a sacrement - that is - the same as one would take a communion wafer and when i do my communion it is with the Goddess, sometimes it is so beautiful tears stream from my eyes - but she took this to be something a fag would do and then the whole thing became impossible
So I feel that I'll be alright but it's going to take time. Every one of those exxperiences becomes more intense and I did it for 8 months. This would be the 9th and just today I found some pics of a real person on xPeeps that i was almost going to cum to and it happened. They became her
It's almost like a curse and that she knows
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My 1st guy was a brownskin I had a crush on him since I was around 12. He was a singer in a soul group. Really good too. Handsome, we ended up at the beach one night I borrowed my girl friend's Cadillac Convertible it was Green with white leather all waxed nice - I had on a short racer back knit dress with heels nothing else. I picked him up at this Gay bar he hung out at. Some guys were telling me that HE wanted to suck MY cock. Boy did he have a surprise in store. My girlfriend had a girlfriend she was bi and i told her. So she said here and gave me the keys. She knew the Gay and she said he had a real hard time and never picked guys up for some reason. All these guy were whistling at me my cock was showing right through my dress right on the main drag 
We went out, put the top down - he knew right where to go - we blew some dope and i said lets get in the back. So he got back there I was up front and I took my dress off and layed my hardon on the top of the seats where they folded and started rubbing it in the crack of the seats and I could see he was getting excited, So I crawled over the seat undid his shirt - beautiful smooth brownskin no hair at all. I helped him pull his pants down (I was still in my heels) and that cock went boing He was nude now too and man did his cock feel fabulous in my hands. I don't think my cock was ever so hard and I started French kissing him the best I could rubbing his cock and he was wiggling all around and I went down on him and swallowed his cock.
I practiced for a long time with a dildo and sucked on that black cock as best i could with all the Love I had in me and I swallowed his cum. He just kept cumming and cumming. He wanted me to fuck him but I'm not really into that and then he went down on me wow was he good I remember feeling his short Afro seeing it glisten in the moonlight ...
So we talked a while rubbed each others cocks ... and I took him back
That was the first cock I ever sucked. Up until then, guys used to suck mine.
♥
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The longest I ever went was 22 months - that was when I was a young man - my 1st Goddess
These are very good observations you have but I think it's over and has to be for the reasons you site. I need someone - even if she is a Mistress - to have this sort of relationship with that understands what I'm doing and understands my sexuality. Those are all essential elements along with her being the sort of woman that suits me who I can worship and adore physically and mentally -- verrrrrry difficult for me to find.
Like most guys have a sort of Goddess maybe a Playboy playmate, a model or actress &c but there is no genuine participation involved - no real gratitude - when that element is present the whole thing clicks. So there has to be genuine adoration on the man's part and the woman's knowledge and appreciation of that and what he is doing.
In my case it started off fine. In fact she was excited about it and I was the most happy I'd ever been in all my life all of my problems just became so small and manageable: but then as the whole thing became more intense she couldn't handle it. That isn't the sort of Love and attention she wants it's too heavy for her I guess. Maybe she's scared.
Actually the vitality part? There is an actual theory to that. Because guys get so drained after we cum and sometimes fall right asleep. That does not happen with the internal orgasms but as far as the body actually reabsorbing the jizz after a shooting orgasm? Through oral ingestion? That does not seem to work - maybe a little boost from protein and carbs but I don't think it's significant. There is however another theory that the jizz contains female hormone and causes the man to become more feminine - which might explain me:p - hahahaha >:D
But it does work magically by intensifying the experience and that's my thing. The reason, I think, is similar to the psychology of communion - taking a wafer - except the higher state of consciousness is achieved by sexual stimulation - viz., the altered state of consciousness we get into when we're sexually aroused (which is essentially what I live for and attenmpt to maintain by edging &c and it works).
So the idea is that the communion takes place on a higher plane of consciousness that there is an actual spiritual union with the Goddess on a higher plane - This picture depicts that
So that the jizz produced by that union is magical. Like when you really Love someone and make a baby. Except that here what you make is a greater and greater devotion of Love and adoration to the Goddess and ingest the jizz yourself instead of shooting it into the woman for the purposes of procreation
I think the trouble with this is that if you DON'T do sex with the woman regularly, it becomes a selfish experience - she does not have the same experience. Yours get more intense but for her it's sort of like fucking and she's not cumming:p
Because after all the purpose of Tantra is the the woman reaches the state of bliss by having as many orgasms as possible and the man by prolonging with the internal orgasms and finishing as an act of his will with the final shooting orgasm
♥
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