All sorts of changes have been happening to me - leading up to the solar eclipse.
Very emotional and deep.
All of the plants outside of my house got some kind of a blight, except one.
I never saw anything like it, all of the leaves turned brown. I have this hedge Rose. One year I planted a dozen but only one bush took and it was quite feeble at 1st . This year the buds were magnificent and yielded dozens of beautiful tea roses - they look like red carnations
1st there were little black bugs that are long like small stoneflies, but they're always there, this year there were Japanese Beatles - I never saw so many except when they infested my cousin's Peach trees
All of the petals fell to the ground
The one remaining plant is a Hybrid Rose bush - the flowers are white and yellow with pink highlights and smell fabulous
Last year my LD Love of 4 years started going irreparably wrong - the Hybrid rose was Her - so I thought - She had imbued the plant with her Spirit, it produced magnificent flowers like never before. Her power is earthly and awesome.
By the time the last bud was ready to bloom, the tea roses were finished. I saw the last remaining bud and would have clipped it and brought it into my house but she was being cruel to me.
A frost came that night and practically killed it - I clipped it but it bloomed lilted
Things went completely bad and suddenly my Goddess savior came to comfort me in spirit like an angel - the tea roses bloomed again in her Honor
This year the remaining plant right in front of my house - the Rose with colors like Her - had only one bloom. I clipped it and brought it in to my house
Some of the memories I tried to supress came back. I Loved Her and hated her at the same time. It was approaching Her birthday, the 1st time in 5 years I wouldn't say Happy Birthday
and then there were none
So I met a new woman - I thought was her, because her Power is magnificent and I fell in Love
There are always different degrees - but the Power - so few have it. I crave it, Live for it. It's the best thing I know. It has to be Love what else could it be?
A rose appeared. And a small bud. The colors were beautiful, the fragrance fabulous I clipped it . I took it inside - it was like a Love spell. It made me sleepy, Love sick it was after my Will
At the same time I was messaging with the new woman and when the bud bloomed it was a purely yellow rose - the 1st time this happened - and had no smell.
But as I loved her more the colors changed and became the same as the other while the fragrance intensified
So I think of her last before I sleep and 1st after I awake and today was the change
Her birthday was on the 19th. It was sort of a milestone. When I awoke on the 22d the first rose lilted
I was overwhelmed with emotion - I kissed it and felt tears in my eyes - I seldom cry not even at my father's funeral. I kissed the petals inhaled the fragrance deeply brushed it along my face and fell into an Opium like pipe dream in all of the memories and cried and said I have to say goodbye to you Darling
but then as I sat there nude at the edge of my bed, before dawn, by the phone where we had spent so many hours, I became the new woman and she was crying - this was shocking to me, it was so vivid, what did it mean?
I pulled myself together, I removed all of the momentos - candles I burned for her and others, petals from the roses
Called to my new Love through Frankincense - now the only spirits that remain in that room are mine and hers
Then I realized what the Roses really meant, one was the past, the other now, the change, leading to the future
By this afternoon, the new rose lilted
Nothing lasts forever
~~~~~~~
This is me:
"Moon in Pisces: Higher Love
The lines of Mother and Child are blurry with a Pisces Moon. You may have perceived your mother or other primary caregiver through rose-colored glasses. This Mother Moon often welcomes a child's world of pretend and fantasy. You may have been encouraged to write, daydream, play music or dance. As a child you may have learned the importance of serving and responding to others when there was need, but this ability relied on a lack of boundaries. Your caregivers could have had a sensitivity that made them unavailable at times, going off into their own worlds and leaving you with a stark absence of motherly support. With your Moon in Pisces, you could have had the very real responsibility of caring for your mother through ill health. Early childhood experiences passed on to you the idea that relationships contain the possibility of transcendence. You may still be seeking this seed of salvation through relationships, either by sacrificing your own dreams for the sake of another or identifying with an ideal that can never be realized. To own your power in relationships, you have to bravely confront the illusions you have about love. Relationships are full of difficult compromise, partners have warty insides and bad breath, and there's not always a happily-ever-after. Your gifts of sensitivity and compassion make you a good listener, a romantic lover and an incredibly loving, supportive partner. But when you mistake the ideal for the real, you may end up using those skills to manipulate others. You have such a love of romance that you may not even notice how terrible a relationship actually is. The key to your art of loving is using your natural sensitivity to recognize what's really going on. When you are honest about your own emotional needs, you can remove the confusion that arises from taking on someone else's subconscious desires and unexpressed emotions. You can't expect any one person to fulfill all of your dreams, nor should you allow others to take advantage of your compassionate desire to serve".